Monday, October 26, 2009

I spoke too soon...

Have you ever started off a week where things just don’t sit right or where someone innocently says something to you that sets you off in a downward spiraling direction? Maybe I’m being a little dramatic, but just as I wrapped up talking about the merits of “positive thinking,” I hit a wall. Starting from a potential client deciding not to move forward with a project, to chipping my front tooth while trying to pull a staple out of paper, I hit a wall.

Yeah, I know. It’s a bummer and I’m a curmudgeon.

Luckily I eventually came out of this self-created dark fog simply by realizing this was actually one of those *manageable* bumps in the road.

It turns out I wasn’t the only one having an off week. A friend of mine was going through what we’ll call “a transition” with her boyfriend. She called to talk and like two talented surgeons we took the situation apart layer by layer. Then, somewhere in the conversation someone said: “well, he’s in his mid-40s and he’s never been married”. Uh-oh. You probably know where I’m going with this. (Disclosure: my friend and I are in our 40s and have never married … yet).

The truth is that there are people out there who truly believe if you haven’t been married by a certain age you probably have “issues” too big to overcome. But doesn’t everyone have issues? I mean, if you’re married to the same person for 20 years and you see them day in and day out, aren’t you still going to have some issues at some point, whether they are with your companion… or perhaps even because of them?

Not to get too heavy here, but I pondered the “issues card” as I strolled around a local farmer’s market filled mostly with married couples, dating couples, and kids. And I continued to ponder it as I walked around my neighborhood taking in the beautiful fall colors with my friend’s 20-year-old nephew Hans who was visiting from Oregon State University. (More disclosure: Hans doesn’t have issues).

So here I am, 42 years old and never married. Does that mean I’m wracked with issues? Maybe. But my issues are cute and endearing -- at least to me. And I can’t help but secretly hold on to the possibility that there’s a special guy out there for me with a matching chipped tooth. We’ll meet, fall in love, marry…. and live happily ever after issues.


  1. Hoooray for "Issues"!!!! :)
    Display that chipped tooth proudly with each smile, it's character. I won't say, "Stay Positive", but I will say, "Stay Lila".
    (Just as an FYI: Staples, Office Depot & numerous other places sell an item called a "Staple Remover" that will do the job that your teeth once did, without the hassle of broken teeth. I'm just sayin...)

  2. Thanks Kev! I almost posted a picture of the chipped tooth but it was a bit disturbing. And I really should try and find one of those staple removers you describe. HA!

  3. Don't ever forget that You Rock, Lila...chipped tooth or not. Hey, maybe chipping that tooth was a sign that NOW is the time to get that Iced Grill you've always wanted. Although diamond encrusted toofeses might be out of fashion, they ARE on sale! I can just see you rollin thru Portland on your bike, flashing a smile bedazzled with a 1000 twinkles to every fancy dude you see. I'll bet that'll score ya a keeper!!!!

  4. Kevin, you're too hip for my school. I don't even know what an Iced Grill is nor a toofeses. I have so much to learn if I am going to bedazzle my tooth! Do you think the look will match my eyes? hmmm...

    Baby, I'll bet you can find TWO that match your eyes.
    Shine on, you crazy diamond (toofed playa)!

  6. You are soooo NOT 42. I felt like I needed to tell you my partner is in his mid-thirties so that you knew I "fit in" with young early to mid-thirty something's like you. Wow. Well, I have to say, I know I look young for my age too, which I think is God's way of saying: "Robert, you've got extra time." My career is so not together yet and I know it. But since I also know I've got an extra gifted ten years, it's no sweat. You have every ability to feel the same way. You really are actually 32. Now how does that make you feel? Because it's true you know. You've got that vibe, so use it and enjoy it. You've got years before you even need to THINK about "having" to get into a relationship.

  7. Robert!! I have been thinking of you and planning on calling you tomorrow for your "special day" young man! It's your birthday I believe, and my friend Kevin's too. We also need a catch up. Plus I need to see you more. Your words do wonders just for keeping my skin looking young. HA. I miss you pal.